mood: vexed
music: Ai zai- Fang Da Tong

suddenly i am totally at lost for words, i really hate this personality of gettin jealous so easily, if only things had been simpler, really why did tis kinda thing drag for so many year, okay mayb nt tt many it's been 6 yrs for me, carrying that same feeling......my heart's been smashed for a thousand times, even i can't rmb, it's always the same kind of attitude......only for a few years when we didn't really contact each other, i was able to forget tt terrible feeling, and i had thot i had finally been free from this terrible feeling, but i was wrong, and i only realise after 2 years, tt the feeling had all along been there, just that it's been locked away....if i had the choice, i wished it had been locked forever.......

When i saw all the grad pic, the feelings came back, memories flash like movie films in my head, feelings were reborn again, and seriously you dunno how dissapointed i felt when you said those words, can't believe that i was actually a non-existent to you for 2 years, so wadeva happened during those times meant nth to you i suppose......to me it was really precious......

Where does our relationship stand, i really dunno anymore, just when i thot i was gonna give up, you became nice all of a sudden, changed the nature of course, and finally when i thot i shud treasure it once again, you decided to end everything, seriously sometimes i am so confused with what you are tryin to say, can't you juz be straight forward about everything......

Every now and then, i will subconsciously wait for a phone call that will never come, wait for a message which will nvr come, and as days pass, i get more greedy, seriously i wish this feeling would end soon, maybe someday i might regret nt telling you all these feelings, but i already decided to keep it locked away when the time finally comes.......thanks for everything.......

mood: in bliss
music: LOVE by brown eyed girl

clubbin was fun, onli a few "dramas" here and there, but i can't believe i woke up late today lar, i swear i got set alarm clock lar, but the beautiful memories will be forever kept in my heart, i noe it's wrong to hold onto something tt dun belong to me, and nvr will, i wonder wad will happen if he found out about my feeling, better not sia, i dun wanna lose a fren, a great fren lolx.......pls let me have sweet dreams tonite =)

mood:tired
music: Goodbye by Jang Geun Suk

Cardiac family day ended, it's great to see Dr Low there, miss him alot, coz he's damn nice, actually all the MO are nice lolx...so glad i am part of the dept lolx....had alot of fun, realli, thou when performin coz i too long no perform in front of ppl, i feel damn shy and nervous, but glad i didn't dance wrongly hahhahaha, it was fun doing make up too.......all ends well, i wonder if next yr i get to go again lolx.....

tmr gg out wif my gfs lolx....miss them lots.....and we're gg SHOPPIN, cc n cl wanna go chop their hair, shud i chop it off too, but can't bear too, lets juz keep it for now lolx.......gg to charge my cam before bed.....

you know sometimes, i seriously dunno wad to say, i feel as if i dunno u anymore, which one is the real you, the one who will always ignore my msg, and wadeva i say or the one who will always ask me wad happen, did something happen when i dun sound okay.......
i hate it when u make me expect more from you, when u know, u can't give wad i really want.....if that's the case....why ask wad i want, when u know u can't really give me wad i want.......so the past few weeks, you're juz pretending to be concern rite........seriously i had totally given up le......but den all of a sudden, u change to someone whom i always wished u would changed to, den after makin me rmb how i felt, juz when i decided to give myself another chance to try, u decided to use a knife and cut rite across my heart...............i really dunno who u are anymore.....

no wonder uncle eric says there's no point in waiting anymore, he's probably forgotten abt the promise also, so wad if he's being nice, there's alot of impt things he forgot.....such a dissapointment..........................................i tink it's best i move on, before more scars are created.