It's been super duper long since I last pen something here. Was it 2 months? Anyway, alot has happened since. I've move from my comfort zone of 13 years to the new house, the 1st month was super tough for me. Adapting to a new house with quite constricted spaces and at the same time, my studies has started. Yes! I am currently a undergraduate!!! Part-time but still an undergraduate.

Moving in, alot has change. For one, I had to share a room with my sister, and of course I've alot of stuff to unpacked, the pressure was there. There were times that I didn't feel like coming home coz everytime I step into the house, everyone ask the same question; when are you gonna unpack your stuff. I mean you gotta give me time. I was trying to cope with my studies, the unpacking, my work. Everything is like one lump and I need to sort it out myself.

There was once I had a fight with my sister due to my unpacked boxes, and I threw a fit, I mean seriously I've got no one to help at all, I am unpacking, they didn't give me time, they just started screaming at me. I seriously couldn't take it. I am trying my hardest to unpack and fit everything into place. The pressure so super high to the point that I once thought of just leaving the house with the unpacked boxes.

So I was at my most stressful period, and then one night after doing my on-call case, I came home crying, I really hated this place. When my parents saw me, they asked what is it, and i couldn't say anything, i just went straight to unpack my stuff, and when my mom ask why am i acting like this, i told her if i didn't unpack, you people would start nagging again. In the end, they started screaming at me again, telling me I'm angry that's why I cried, I am throwing a tantrum that's why I am crying, they tell me I'm old enough, an adult already, I AM NOT SUPPOSE TO CRY! IT'LL BE A LAUGHING STOCK! My mom told me luckily the neighbours have not moved in, if it not, it'll be a laughing stock.  That was one night I felt the most terrible. I thought that I didn't even have the human rights to cry. I seriously thought of just ending my life so I opened up the window, I gave my boyfriend a call, so I wouldn't regret. At that point of time, I seriously thought that if I had just climb over and end my own life, it would be so much more easier. I tried telling my parents, but all they cared is the unpacking and my sister. When my sister cried, i was asked to comfort her, everyone showered love on her. No one blame her for being jobless, no one blamed her if she has any problem.

I'm only saying this here now, is because I am still alive. The reason, I know i have a lot more responsibility, my parents trusted me that i could always take care of my own problems, they believe that I've grown up already. My boyfriend is always telling me to stay positive no matter what happens, and I know he'll always be there to listen to me.

Anyways, there was a time where they complained that there were alot of hair on the floor. Yes, they blamed it on me, like I was the only one who had long hair. So, that's the reason why I had my hair chopped off. I sort of missed my long pretty hair.

Tomorrow is gonna be my first paper, I did study so hopefully I'll be able to make it. I gotta admit my dance moves has become super rusty LOL it's ugly yo. So once I am done with my studies, i hope to start trainning again!

I'm glad I didn't do anything stupid that night, coz if i did, I would probably regret it. ALICE NINE IS COMING!!!!

Cheers and stay beautiful people x peace